I’ve been noticing people’s habits lately. Mostly, I’ve noticed individual’s tendency to be on time — or be chronically late.
It’s always obvious who is on time when meeting others in person. But in-person meetings aren’t the only instances where we can offend others by being late.
- We can be late in responding to a phone call.
- We can be late sending a payment for a bill that’s due.
- We can be late in posting a blog entry (oops!).
- We can be late in playing that game we promised our child.
- We can be late taking steps to live our purpose.
There are lots of ways in which we can be late. But what’s really interesting about being late is that it almost always affects the other people involved (those that are on time) more than the person being late.
Here is what being late to a meeting says to the other participants:
- My time is more important than yours.
- I’m busier and more valuable than you.
- You should be thrilled I’ve blessed you with my majestic presence at all.
Okay, that last one was a bit of a stretch, but you get the idea.
And we’re all late sometimes. But when it becomes a habit and we’re late to everything, it’s time to review our commitments. It’s time to stop and consider how our lateness affects those that are waiting on us.
Anyone that knows me will attest to the fact that I’m almost always five to ten minutes early to meet ups (unless I got lost, which is a big possibility). So, I’ll admit that my perspective on lateness is colored by my personal habits and cultural upbringing.
Different cultures have varied approaches to time and I respect that. I’m simply referring to lateness that is outside the cultural norm.
In closing, I would like to leave you with some thoughts on what it says to me about a person’s character when they show up on time to a meeting:
- I’m reliable.
- I respect you and your time.
- I appreciate you giving me some of your time.
How do you feel about lateness? Does it make you crazy like it does me?
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Lateness is one of those things I abhor lol! As my parents have gotten older, their time now seems a lot more fluid, meaning they could care less if they are on time or late for a meeting with us. It drives me especially crazy since they instilled a strong sense of reliability and punctuality in us. When it comes to other moms being late though, I tend to me MUCH more forgiving as I understand that children often thwart any parent’s attempt to be on time.
Agreed Megyn. Moms usually get a little more leeway from me as well. Especially if there is a baby involved! As any mom knows, blowouts and puke always happen on the way out the door.
I try not to be too uptight. My wife is OCD which can cause her to run behind. But I agree, we must realize that to have others waiting on you is to tell them that their time is not important to you. I have had to try and learn a lot of patience over the years. It is hard.
DSG
ZenPresence.com
There is a balance I suppose. Sometimes I try to practice patience, but when someone is habitually late, it’s easy to become resentful of the time sacrificed in waiting.
Being late–especially without sincere apology–to sends this clear message: “My time is more important than yours.” Everyone’s late sometimes and deserves the benefit of the doubt. But chronic lateness is nothing more than a power trip.
Yes Kurt! It is a power trip, isn’t it? Nicely stated.
Ha! Think a couple minutes late is annoying? Try living in Guatemala! Schedule something for 8am if you want someone to show up at 10am
It’s weird because punctuality is treasured no matter how useless meetings tend to be. It’ ok to zone out a long as one is there on time
-Rich
Oh my goodness. That would make me insane Rich!
I think it’s not only a cultural thing, but also a question of personality – some people are simply more laid back than others. I do agree, however, that it’s important to be on time to show that you respect and appreciate the other person’s time. I used to be chronically late, but have been much better in the past 5 years or so.
That’s great that you decided to make a change Moira. Sometimes all it takes is being on the receiving end of lateness to help gain some perspective.
And while I wouldn’t describe myself as uptight, I’m not laid back either. But being on time is so important to me. If I feel that I’m running late I become very anxious!
Punctuality is good manners, a sign of respect. But sometimes it is hard to tell when not being punctual is actually preferred, particularly in social situations. Some friends will say a gathering starts at 6 pm and they really mean 6 pm, and others will really mean 8 pm–or at least that is when most people start to arrive. Never could figure that one out!
Ha, ha. I can’t either Meg! I will say that I’m careful to never arrive early to parties. I know when we’re having people over there is always a lot of preparation happening in the minutes leading up to the time the party is to start. But I don’t show up to parties more than 10 minutes late either…
I am always early. I have this terrible anxiety about being late. But I know several people that are always running behind. Being on time requires planning and mindfulness. The people that are consistently late appear to have more things on their plate than they can manage. I think this is where simplicity in scheduling can really help.
Of course, if someone is just lazy, there’s not a lot you can do.
I’ve got mixed feelings on it. In the U.S., everything is rush-rush,and about squeezing too many commitments, into too short of a time period.
Whereas, other cultures are focused on 2-hour lunch siestas and approach daily life in a more laid back way.
Withing the confines of the U.S., I prefer to be not just on-time, but early. However, I look forward to a lifestyle where time flows within your own accord, and you can come/go as you please.
i am not offended by others’ lateness and do not make it significant or meaningful…in truth our own time is more valuable to us than anyone else’s – no? i know it’s as true for the next guy as for me…and it’s not like we’re not all plugged in via smartphones and ipads and other gadgets, and unable to utilize the time spent waiting – right? I choose to view others’ tardiness as the universe’s way of helping me “take 5″ and just enjoy a daydream or a coffee or whatever pleasant distraction is available in the moment.