Sometimes I have to stop and realize that not all people feel comfortable discussing personal finances. I’ve always enjoyed discussing money matters, but this may be because I feel that money management is separate from a person’s character.
Unless someone is intentionally being dishonest, learning to properly manage money is typically just about learning how.
Personal Finance Gets Personal
I recently learned that a young man I’m close to is planning to move out on his own soon.
His mom called to tell me about his plans to leave the family nest. She said that she asked him to meet with me first before moving out to get a budget together.
In my excitement, I sent him a message asking him to come to dinner this Sunday. He responded that he was happy to join us! Then I asked him to bring information about his last three months pay checks and his student loan payments so we could figure out a financial plan before he moves out.
After all, who wouldn’t want help setting up their finances before stepping out into the world independently?
Here is how the second part of the conversation went:
Me: “Awesome! Figure out your last three months worth of pay checks and student loan payments and I’ll help you figure out a financial game plan!”
Young Man: <crickets>
Wanting to Help
I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience in your own life. When you see an opportunity to help a loved one, don’t you get excited?
This young man is an athletic kid/man. I don’t know much about sports, so I could never help with that. But money management is something I know and enjoy. And I would say I’m pretty darn good at it.
Why Personal Finance Shouldn’t be Personal
One reason I’m passionate about personal finance is because I know first hand that being financially savvy can make your life more comfortable and enjoyable. Knowing how much money you have coming in and going out can help you avoid making a decision between having your electricity turned off, or eating.
Before I moved out on my own, my dad sat down with me night after night teaching me the ins and outs of personal finance. It was seriously the best housewarming gift he could have ever given me.
I understand that sometimes individuals simply don’t have enough money to pay for necessities like food and utilities. But that is not the kind of situation I’m talking about here. I’m referring to the person that runs out of money before running out of month needlessly.
I’m talking about watching your online banking balance to see how much you have to spend, but forgetting about that check for $300 that has yet to clear your account.
It’s such an empowering exercise to create a financial plan for yourself. It’s reassuring to know how much money you have to spend at any given moment. It makes for restful sleep to know that you’ll absolutely be able to pay your rent/mortgage this month because you’ve already pulled it aside.
I feel so strongly about the power of personal finance, that I would say that for most people, being knowledgeable (and putting that knowledge into action) can make the difference between a life of relative comfort and a life of struggle.
So tell me, do you think personal finance is something too personal to discuss? Personally, I think making personal finance taboo to talk about is part of the problem our consumerist, debt-ridden culture is facing today. What do you think?
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Jenny I don’t think personal finance is too personal to discuss at all. In fact I think it probably needs to be talked about more than it is! Unfortunately I think a lot of the reason why it is so taboo is because a lot of people are not doing well with their finances and there is a lot of shame and guilt associated with money.
It is also really hard to help someone who really isn’t asking for your advice either. Trust me, as a financial coach I people every day in my family, at church, and at work that could use some help managing their money but are not really that interested. It’s a shame but unless they are ready to change their behavior all the advice in the world won’t help much.
Hi Jon,
Thanks for sharing your perspective. It’s just tough to see a young person in your life start out without the financial knowledge needed to make it. When the knowledge was offered to me when I was starting out, I was hungry for it.
I’m not saying that I never made bad financial decisions — because I absolutely did. But starting from a place of knowing how personal finance works made it much easier to bounce back from poor money decisions made along the way.
To me, the difference between reacting to financial crisis after financial crisis throughout your life, or having the ability to help yourself and others is a no-brainer.
I agree Jenny, I think a lot of times people don’t care about personal finance because they think it is all about “the numbers.” When in fact over 90% of personal finance is behavior!
I also feel that our education system has done a poor job of preparing students to handle money. It’s amazing when I think about all the classes that were required when I was in school that never really impacted me, but we never had to take a personal finance class that would have impacted EVERY single student! Crazy isn’t it?
I couldn’t agree with you more Jon! Personal finance should be required for all late high school students. It’s so sad that we spend so much time preparing our kids for standardized tests, but fail to teach them how survive and thrive financially.
Money management is just as important as art, music, health education and all of the other important “extra” courses kids are required to take.
I completely agree that talking about finances should not be taboo! My parents always talked about being financially sound from an early age. My siblings and I had to pay for our own car insurance if we wanted to drive, cell phones, etc. It’s funny because my single sister who is getting ready to take her CPA is worse off financially than our family of four on a much meager income. I also found out that we have more in savings than my parents who easily make 3x what The Hubs makes. I keep wondering what I can do to help, but neither my sister nor parents welcome the advice. I think for my parents, they enjoy the luxuries now as they had to scrimp and save when we were little. I just hope not to follow in their footsteps when our boys get older!
That’s great Megyn!
We’re really open with our kids about money because we don’t want it to become some mysterious beast that seems to rain down on some people but not others. We try to show our children that being comfortable is just as much (if not more) about what you do with the money you receive than it is about how much you receive.
I can understand why some people might be uncomfortable discussing personal finances with others. I think the way you were raised can have a big affect on this. I was raised that it’s taboo to discuss specific numbers like salary, account balances, etc. I still would feel uncomfortable doing so with anyone other than my mother or SO. Discussing personal finance concepts is another thing altogether though, and I agree this is something we should do more of, especially in schools.
Hi Candi!
For a young person starting off, it might be easier to discuss actual numbers. At least that’s been my experience. The young person I wrote about here ended up being excited to have a financial plan put together that reflected his current situation. He just wanted to see if he could afford to move out in the first place.
And you’re right, having personal finance classes in our public schools would make such a tremendous difference in the lives of young people!
I wish someone would have done this for me when I was getting ready to set out on my own….hopefully you were able to spend some time with him – he would thank you one day.
I was able to spend time with him Travis!
My dad did this for me when I was starting off and it made a huge difference. I still made tons of mistakes, but I had something to go back to when I wanted to pick myself back up again.
I definitely think there’s a need for greater openness when it comes to discussing personal finances. Considering how common personal debt is in North America, we *literally* can’t afford the subject to be taboo. I also see a need for more information and discussion about personal finances in the formal education sector as well. Thanks for sharing!
Josh – I completely agree!