Many of you have asked me to report back on how my life has changed since leaving my full-time job almost two weeks ago. It’s hard to say for sure how much different things will be just yet, but a few things from my first week free from full-time employment stand out:
- I was able to take my two and half year old son to the zoo one morning last week. We packed a lunch and headed out first thing in the morning. It’s hard to describe the excitement on my little boy’s face as he entered the petting zoo and had the opportunity to brush some sunbathing goats. This was something we could have never done before. My parents give us a season pass to the Columbus Zoo each year, but with my previous work schedule we rarely had a chance to visit.
- My two and a half year old is now signed up for his first ever class. He and I will go one morning each week to a fun place called “Buckeye Bounce” where he’ll jump on trampolines and dive into a foam pit with other kids his age.
- I’ve been working on fun projects with people I love to work with. My work hours have been sporadic. I’ve been working from late morning into the afternoon and then again in the evening. As I get a better feel for how I want my days to look, my schedule will change accordingly.
- The most important change I’ve enjoyed is not being glued to my laptop for ten or more hours each day. I’m much freer to respond to emails in a timely — but not immediate — manner. I’ve even been turning my email off as I work to avoid the distraction of new messages coming through. This has been the most freeing part of freelance life so far.
How Can You Get Unstuck?
But enough about me, let’s talk about you. What makes you feel the most restricted or trapped in your life? What could you do this week to take a step in a direction that offers more of what you seek?
Is it debt that keeps you stuck? How could you work towards eliminating one debt? Do you need to start with a simple budget?
Is it fear that holds you back? What specifically are you afraid of? What is the best and worst case outcome of moving in a new direction? What do you need to do to reduce the fear you’re feeling?
Is it the opinion of your spouse/parents/friends/neighbors/coworkers that keeps you complacent? What if you stop listening to them and started listening to your own heart? While our friends and loved ones usually have our best interests in mind, they may be seeing things from a place of fear and compliance. Only you know what is best for you.
Maybe leaving a full-time job isn’t what you’re looking for. Perhaps you’re looking to stop serving on so many committees, find a job that allows you to work less hours, do work you love or travel more. Or maybe you’re just trying to avoid running out of money before your next paycheck.
The truth is, there are countless reasons to design a lifestyle that parallels what you value and want from this life. What would you do with your newfound freedom if you could create more space to do what you want?
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I have three part-time jobs, but one is volunteer. Together, they add up to too much time. I’m feeling left with too little time for fun, and I’m getting antsy. Something’s gotta give; I’d like to jettison one of them, but at the moment I don’t see a great option. I’m thinking one may go away on its own (employer goes bust), so I’m sort of waiting for that to happen instead of being proactive–probably a mistake.
That sounds like a lot Kurt. It sounds like one of the three will need to go, but it would be nice if you got to chose which one.
I’ve been in similar circumstances and usually find that once I make up my mind to scale back, things just seem to fall into place.
What we like most about working from home on our own businesses was being able to integrate our work life more seamlessly into our personal life – setting our own work hours within certain parameters. As you posted, being able to take the kids on a daytime outing; being able to work in the garden in the morning while it’s cool; joining friends for a nice long lunch or coffee break without watching the clock, planning a long vacation whenever, etc.
That sounds fantastic Ellen. Working for yourself takes so much time and dedication, but it does offer more flexibility — depending on the type of business you own. I once owned an ice cream shop and it was so demanding that I ended up closing it when my oldest son was a year old. Retail hours + motherhood weren’t the best combination.
At first, my issue was lack of time. Then it was too much time! Not having a set structure meant every little housechore became another little fire to put out. Took a few weeks to get settled into a routine.
Usually, we human beings work better under pressure, when time-limits forces us to focus on one task. I was finally unstuck from a shapeless routine that kept me from focusing on my projects. Mental stuckiness is the worst.
I guess I went from Unstuck to Stuck to Unstuck again
-Rich
Ha, ha. Well, I’m glad you’re unstuck again Rich! I know you were talking about having a hard time structuring your time not long ago.
I prefer to work ahead of deadlines, so hopefully this will be a good fit for me.
Isn’t it wonderful to be able to set your own schedule, Jenny? I love being able to do whatever I want or need, whenever I want or need, instead of whenever I can squeeze it in or whenever I’m permitted. I get to decide the balance among various responsibilities as well as rest and recreation. Freedom is wonderful, isn’t it, Jenny?
Yes Mike! I’ll know more as the weeks progress, but for now my schedule is far better than it was.
For me it’s fear.
I’m afraid of (more) failure. In February, I started a new chapter in my freelance/indie career, trying to revive it after a few years of some serious unexpectedness in my personal life. I gave myself a year to heal before picking up the pieces and building myself back up to a place where I’m excited, motivated and eager to succeed. But I still have fears.
By beginning again, starting a new service for my web design business and putting in the groundwork for an indie art & craft venture, the rewards could be a dream. I would have 2 successful sources of income that would fulfill me creatively and financially. The worst case scenario would be me throwing in the towel before I’ve put enough time in to earn that success.
What reduces fear for me is keeping busy. Always creating. Working on at least one project at all times. Keeping myself busy doesn’t give me time to let the doubt creep in, because instead of wallowing in fear and doubt that I’m not “good enough”, I’m always thinking about the next idea I could work on. I think it’s the key to getting where you want to be in life…always working towards it. And I want to stress that “work” in this case is not always a four letter word. Everyone has bad days. But I try to think of work as an enriching, exciting task that is done to bring happiness and fulfillment into your life. I know it’s possible. With all the hard work, dedication and big decisions you’ve made, you’re a good example, Jenny!
That’s a great plan Catherine. I tend to get trapped in “what if land” quite a bit myself, so I know exactly what you mean!
And you are coming off a serious life change that no doubt changed your vision and life plan. You know better than most how fragile and unpredictable life can be. If we are able to do work we love, than we owe it to ourselves and the world to move in that direction.
I recently transitioned into my own private solo law practice. This enabled me to become “unstuck” from the daily grind I was engaged in. I now make my hours, treat clients the way I see fit and have extra time to spend with my eight month old son.
While I do not have the financial freedom I had as I struggle to get my practice off the ground, the feeling of freedom I have is priceless.
That’s great Frank! Congratulations.
It’s hard to put a price on extra time with an infant child and more freedom. The financial freedom will come in time. Just keep plugging away!
Great post. I especially resonated with the line “Is it the opinion of your spouse/parents/friends/neighbors/coworkers that keeps you complacent? ” I always find myself thinking, heh, I live for myself then someone asks me a intense question such as this one and I realise that is not always true. Great reading – thank you for sharing with the world!
Thanks Sonya. I find that even though I don’t think I care what anyone else thinks, I tend to hold back information I feel will cause others to cast judgement at times. I’m getting much better about letting go, but I’m still reserved at times.